


Self Affirmation

by TopicalAmazon (Animasta)



Category: Steins;Gate
Genre: Coming Out, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Humor, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 02:49:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14510892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animasta/pseuds/TopicalAmazon
Summary: In which Ruka comes out, Mayuri is the God of Twister, Faris talks nonsense, Daru loves Yuri and Okabe has to watch Dragonball Z





	Self Affirmation

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Remember That Part In Steins;Gate Where Ruka Was A Cisgirl Because Her Mom Ate More Greens
> 
> yeah that was dumb lets fix it

“Behold, my dear Lab Mems, Future Gadget 011! What kind of Mad Scientist has an abode you can merely wander into, with nary a check in place!? Well, my dear compatriots of science, I have fixed that! I call it… ‘A Pose That Will Pierce The Lock’! Another brilliant tool in the war against the Faction of Order that I, Hououin Kyouma, want to destroy!” I stare out into the faces of the gathered Lab Mems, waiting for their praise.

Unfortunately, they seem to look… confused.

“That… looks like a twister mat, dude.” Daru notes from his computer chair, his visual novel (presumably eroge) paused at a work safe moment. If a scantily clad anime teenager can ever be called ‘work safe’.

“Okarin, I love it!” Mayuri beams, working on sewing something on the couch “Do you remember back on my 12th birthday party, where I won 5 games in a row? That moment when I had to get three limbs on blue is one of my favorite birthday memories! I also remember you-”

“We need not bring the past into our scientific endeavors, Mayuri!” I interrupt, hoping to dissuade her from travelling down memory lane.

“But Kyouma-san, don’t nyaa know? All those who ignore the past are doomed to repeat it.” Faris nods, her cat ears clashing with her business casual clothing, “What do you think happened to the 5 Generals of Hokkaido!? They were fantastic friends, nyaa, and they were on course to conquer all of Japan, but The Party… Oh, the Party was devastating… Curse the Tatsumaki...” Faris moans, head drooping. Once Mayuri notices, she scoots more towards Faris to comfort her.

“Um… I think it’s cool, Ok- Kyouma-san.” Ruka offers, wearing strangely masculine clothing (as in a t-shirt that covers his undershirt and skin tight jeans), “How does it work?”

“I thought you would never ask, Rukako!” Well, at least one of them is appropriately curious, “I have installed pressure boards under the mat. Once it’s installed, it’ll be connected to the lock.” Hopefully Mr. Braun continues to never come upstairs, “At that point, the lock will be unlocked if you input the proper combination of moves. As I am a considerate God of Chaos, I have made it easy enough for the more… weighted of us.” I glance at Hack who proceeds to roll his eyes and flip me off.

How rude! Does he not know who I am!? Just because he’s a Supa Hacka of supreme skill does not mean he can challenge me thusly!

“Oooh, oooh, now I wanna play Twister! Okarin, do you still have the spinner!?” Mayuri has stopped sewing and has jumped up off the couch.

“Now now, Mayuri, this is no longer a simple Twister mat. This is now a beautiful piece of electronic lock technology!”

Mayuri doesn’t look disappointed at all. Instead, she’s giving me a smug smile that I only see once in a blue moon, “Mayushii thinks… Mayushii thinks you’re scared, Okarin~~”

A challenge! I shan't let my hostage challenge me like this!

“I, Hououin Kyouma, will not back down. I am the Symbol of Disorder, the-”

“Shut up, Chuuni, and let’s get started.” Daru interrupts me as he stands up to look for the spinner.

He shall be punished, one day. Let it be known.

“Mayushii~~~, do you have any pants!?” Faris asks quickly, motioning to her skirt, “Nyaa won’t be able to play unless I can spread my legs!”

“F-Faris-tan, can you repeat that last part? Only, say it with a disgusted tone.” He’s gotten bold… I don’t appreciate it.

Neither does Faris, who turns her nose up at Daru and goes with Mayuri to find some leggings. I didn’t anticipate this, and… I’m not very confident in my abilities. Hurriedly, I go to text Christina, hoping for some luck, or at the very least some tips.

Hououin Kyouma: Assistant! Stop whatever you’re doing THIS INSTANT and listen to my hardship!

Christina: not your assistant

Christina: What?

Hououin Kyouma: During my perfect unveiling of Future Gadget 011, the other Lab Mems were unfortunately distracted by the prospect of playing twister, and I, Hououin Kyouma... 

Hououin Kyouma: I’m bad at twister. Help

Christina: Lol, you moron

Christina: This is what you get for being 8 feet tall, you scarecrow

Christina: Your best bet is to fake your own death and move out of the city. I hear Tanegashima is nice this time of year!

Hououin Kyouma: I don’t appreciate this lack of belief, Christina! Did I, or did I not, successfully have dinner with your mother last year!?

Christina: Lmao she was just so surprised I actually started dating someone that you could’ve been a serial killer and she’d be all, ‘well at least he knows what he wants from life!’

Christina: Oh yeah, Maho says you should try being 5 feet tall

Christina: and she also says hi, but she’s too tsundere to message you herself

Hououin Kyouma: Christina, you calling someone else too tsundere is like Daru calling someone a pervert.

Christina: :)

Hououin Kyouma: Well, thanks for nothing! If you hear news of my death, let it be known that I lived a fulfilled life!

Christina: …

Hououin Kyouma: …

Christina: Love you

Hououin Kyouma: Love you too

Well, at least I have a plan of attack now. Unfortunately, I don’t think my tactical retreat from a previous World Line will work here. Mayuri’s finally found the spinner, and her face has transformed from her usual ditzy self to one of Determination. Though she hasn’t played since middle school, so I wonder if her…

Nevermind!

\------

The game started innocuously enough. Right foot red, left foot red for me. Faris had right foot yellow, and left foot red (unfortunately for Daru, Mayuri had been successful in finding a pair of yoga pants). Mayuri was left hand yellow, and left leg green. Ruka, meanwhile, had right foot blue, and left foot blue. Due to Ruka being last, and the other spots being covered, he was standing in front of me.

For some reason, this filled me with dread. What about this position scares me so much!?

“Left hand yellow, Okarin!” Daru chuckled from his computer chair, eyes flashing in excitement.

Left hand… yellow. As in, the color that’s two away from me. It would be easy enough to fit this in had there not been someone in the way. Someone that looked like a girl, but wasn’t. Someone who I… did this before…

Oh no!

“You have to do it, Okarin~~~! Or do you give UP!” Mayuri sneers, her competitive side running so rampant that it was scaring everyone besides me, who’d seen it before.

Oh no!

“Ah, sorry, Rukako…” I whisper into his ear, and he shudders. I, of course, know about his true feelings for me. Well, I assume they’re still there, anyway. That was the reason he’d asked me if he could be a girl. When he heard that me and Christina had become a couple, he was as happy as anyone else, and I couldn’t find any deception in his features. Even though he’s happy for us, that doesn’t mean his feelings go away, and this game just highlights how cruel it is.

I try reaching over him, and he tries bending a little once he realizes what I’m doing, but as soon as I get half way he falls over. But why!? I barely touched him! He’s not the strongest guy in the world, of course, but that doesn’t mean he would fall over with a stiff breeze! I’ve trained him to do 100 swings of Samidare twice a week, and it’s a lot harder than it sounds!

“Rukako?” I ask, and he’s sitting on his butt, looking around at everyone. Knowing him, he SHOULD be really embarrassed, but he’s just… looking.

“Okabe-kun?” All of the sudden, he shoots up and nearly knocks me over, “Okabe-kun… I… I… Can we talk, alone? Please? It’s really, really important.”

“Alright.” Anything to get me out of this game, really, and Mayushii can’t really deny her ‘Ruka-kun’ anything, so she doesn’t argue. I lead him up to the roof, knowing that you can’t really hold a quiet conversation in the development lab and not have it trail out to the main room.

“Okabe-kun… I remember… something.” He leans against the terrace and shrinks down a little, “I remember… um…”

“What, Rukako?” I ask quietly. I have an inkling of what this is about, but I don’t really want to say it myself.

Rukako clearly doesn’t want to say it either, but he finally blurts out, “You tried to search for my di-” He clamps his hand around his mouth, the half formed word so strangely vulgar that it feels so wrong to hear, coming from the innocent Ruka Urushibara.

“Ah… yeah…” I don’t even bother trying to deny it, mostly because my face is so red that you could probably see it in the dark.

“Wait. That was… true?” He blinks rapidly, “The… time… stuff?”

“I have not told anyone but Christina, for what it’s worth.” I have thought about telling Daru, but I’d rather not pique his curiosity, “Not that I’m opposed to discussing it with you, but… if you don’t remember, why bring it up?”

I certainly don’t want to tell Faris that I, in a way, killed her father. I also don’t want to tell Mr. Braun that I saw him kill himself. And Moeka? Please.

He seems strangely… he’s still processing it, of course, and I can read his face easily. There’s a strange happiness about him, and I can’t really tell WHY. We went on a date, of course, and it was nice, but it was hardly something to be happy about, especially since it won’t happen again.

“Ah, wait… so you used the, um, D-mail thingy to alter time, right?” Close enough for someone who wouldn’t care about the science, “You sent a message, that somehow made me into a girl… what was it exactly?”

I’m a LITTLE embarrassed about this one, “Well, you mentioned the old wives tale about women who eat greens are more likely to have a girl, and meat for boys. I thought it was a little ridiculous, but since I needed test subjects, and this was a ‘supposedly’ easy change to notice. How was I supposed to know you would look so eerily similar?”

“Okabe… Okabe-kun.” He walks over to him and hugs him, “Okabe-kun… thank you so much.”

“Wait, what for?”

“Okabe-kun. I have to tell you something. Um, I guess I want to tell everyone too.” He’s whispering into my ear, and despite my relationship with Christina, I can’t help but shiver too. He’s just too cute!

What would Daru say? ‘I Can’t Believe this Boy Miko is So Cute!’

He detaches and then grabs my hand. I can feel his nervousness… it’s clammy, and sweaty, and his walking is too determined to be anything but forced.

What’s going on!?

As soon as we get back to the lab, the twister board is gone and everyone’s gearing up to leave. Well, Daru’s staying, and I was planning on staying too; Future Gadget 012 is in a crucial phase, after all. Still, once we enter, everyone stops what they’re doing and looks at us. Ruka almost wilts, before nodding decisively.

“Um… before everyone leaves, I have something I need to tell everyone.” His voice, unlike normal, is forceful. There’s the usual nervousness there, of course, but compared to normal it’s barely there, “I was going to tell Okabe-kun first, but… I don’t want to leave everyone out.” He glances at Mayuri for a quick second, for some reason.

“Ooh, ooh… Wait, Okarin is going out with Chris-chan.” Mayuri frowns, “I don’t know if you should tell us this, I don’t wanna lie to her…”

“No no, no!” He blushes deeply and releases my hand finally, “No way!”

“Was gonna say, no way Okarin could two-time someone.” Daru, for some reason, sighs in relief.

“Ah, but what if Ruka-nyaa is dating Kyouma-san!?” Faris exclaims, “Just because Kyouma-san and Okarin are sharing a body, doesn’t mean they’re the same person! Kyouma and Okarin have not successfully completed their fusion, nyaa.”

“True, true…” Mayuri nods as though that makes complete sense, “Ah! Okarin, you have to ask Chris-chan if she’s dating Kyouma-san too!”

“I’m a girl!” Ruka blurts out finally, before the conversation gets away from them, “Ah… I wanted to tell everyone, finally… I didn’t think I would ever tell anyone, after what happened with my dad, but… something Okabe-kun said.” H… Ruka looks at me and asks, “Um, Okabe-kun, is it okay to talk about the time travel thing?”

You… literally just talked about it, Ruka.

I sigh, finally washing my hands of that secret, “Fine, but no talk about the Time Leap Machine!”

“You… what’s that?” Daru asks, shocked face quickly making way to intrigue.

Wait, did Ruka even know about the Time Leap Machine? Did I just… reveal that myself?

This is why being Okabe is suffering!

“Um, anyway.” I send a small thank you to Ruka, “um, basically, Okabe changed something, sent a message to my Mom. It’s, um, kinda funny really. That message basically made my mom think it was a message from Kami, and that I would be a… a girl. When they learned I wasn’t, um, a girl… mom refused to believe them. She, um, died, but my dad never forgot that conversation… So when I came out to him in that timeline, instead of… calling me a crossdressing… um… f-word, and washing his hands of me… he accepted it.”

“Wait… Wait. I know what I…”

Wait. Bad move to bring that up.

“Nevermind.” Ruka gratefully glances at me and whispers a word… tape?

Tape… ohhhhhhhh…

“So yeah. Um… if that’s, um, okay with everyone.” She glances down, noticing that nobody’s talked at all. Uh oh… now that he-she’s not looking, she can’t see what’s coming. It’s like an intense freight train of comfort. If I, Hououin Kyouma, am the God of Chaos… She is the God of Hugs.

“Ruka-chan~~~~~” Mayuri squeals as she runs into Ruka, “Oh my gosh, that’s so cool!”

Ruka is blushing heavily, and she murmurs, “Y-Y-Yeah… C-Cool…”

“Oh, oh, i have so many cosplay ideas! OH OH! Faris-chan, oh my gosh, you would be the best maid in the cafe!” She squeals loudly, “You would be the cutest maid in the whole cafe! Oh, um, sorry Faris-chan!”

Faris only shrugs. She knows she cannot win a battle of cuteness against Rukako.

“Yuri!” Daru exclaims, like the Gentleman Pervert he is, “It makes so much sense! Everyone knows that big boobed girls like the flat ones. It’s like, science or something.”

“That is… NOT science, Supah Hacka. Stay in your lane, my friend.” I note, still staring at Ruka’s blushing face. Wait a minute…

“Faris is glad for you, nyaa… To battle against the horrible Ghost that haunts all trans people, nyaa, is a very dark task… Faris will be glad to help you in this battle! Faris has been training for this, all her life!” Faris has put her arms into that strange, yuri-esque hug, and it’s only becoming more yuri-esque…

“A-ah, thank you…”

I fear, I fear for poor Rukako! If she does not escape this puddle of Yuri, she will be stuck in high school forever! So, taking a deep breath, I stride over and enter the puddle. I fear for my manhood, of course, and I will make sure to escape before I call anyone Ojou-sama, but I will fight for Rukako! I gently try and remove Mayuri from her hug, but she’s grabbing on with all of her might. I cannot hold a candle to Mayuri’s pure strength! Oh no… Christina, my Ojo-

“Haha… t-thanks…” her blush is fading, “Can’t… Breathe…”

Mayuri finally releases, and Faris releases as well, and I nod thankfully to Rukako. Unfortunately, I feel as though I remain addled by the yuri-bug. I fear now, that I will have to watch the entire first season of Dragonball Z, just to fix myself. Well, at least they made Kai…

“Rukako.” I nod decisively at the poor girl, still trying to catch her breath, “be aware, that just because you are a girl does not mean you get to skimp on training. I am still your master, and you shall master Samidare.”

“Y-Yes, sir!” She salutes me, and I smile gently. 

Before that, however...

“Do you mind if I tell Christina?” She shakes her head and my smile turns… evil.

Hououin Kyouma: Christina! Let it be known, that on this day, Rukako is now… Rukakoko!

Christina: wtf are you talkin about

Hououin Kyouma: Rukako is a girl!

Christina: ...wasn’t she already

Hououin Kyouma: I suppose so! But she DID just come out to us, so I feel like this is technically the start!

Christina: wait, she… she was born a boy!?

Christina: You’re joking

Christina: She’s literally cuter than literally everyone

Christina: not in that way or anything

Hououin Kyouma: Aha! Your secret bisexuality shall not be hidden from me, your boyfriend, HOUOUIN KYOUMA

Christina: I’m dating Okabe Rintarou, not Hououin Kyouma

Hououin Kyouma: Wait, so I CAN date someone else as Hououin Kyouma!

Christina: no

Christina: Also I’m not bisexual shut up

Hououin Kyouma: I found your secret stash of Yuri Hime in your room!

Christina: …

Christina: gb

Christina: forever

Hououin Kyouma: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so glad to post something again, I've been stuck in a horrible loop of depression and writers block. Thanks to S;G 0 and Hououin Kyouma for helping with that!
> 
> p.s. also I now ship Mayuri/Ruka, ugh it'd be so cute
> 
> p.p.s. Rukako's ending now involves Ranma Saotome who sells Water of Drowned Girl from her dojo


End file.
